When You’re a Creative Who Doesn’t Feel like Creating
This past month I have been taking the time to reflect on this never-ending slump I seem to be in when it comes to creating for myself and my business.
From self-help books to working with a business coach I have tried to find inspiration in any and all forms to help me continue with my design projects. In this search, I have broken through significant mental blocks and have made huge strides in learning more about how I work best and the type of work I prefer to be doing. And yet…
Projects still go half-finished, work has come to a standstill and I have begun to avoid my Adobe programs for fear of the blank page.
“If this was truly what I wanted to be doing…wouldn’t I make the time to do it?”
This question has been the base of my interrogation salad for what seems like years. I can pick through and throw out every other wilted thought, but what remains is always the same.
What’s worse, I give my friends that exact advice when they are venting to me about not being able to eat healthier, learn a new language, or see their family more. I tell them, “Well, if it’s that important to you, you would make it a priority, right? So it must not be that important to you.” Harsh, I know. But to me, it always seemed as simple as that.
At least, that’s what I would tell myself when I gave up on a hobby, goal, or skill development: “Clearly, I just don’t care enough about it to put any more time or energy towards it.” Convincing myself that this was reason enough to quit kept me from feeling like I failed to move forward. Stopping was my choice, after all, not because I lacked ability!
But unlike playing an instrument, dance classes, or any sport I played in middle school, hanging my hat up on graphic design does not feel like an option. I still awe at a beautiful piece of design, I love reading about the industry, and I still daydream about the work I want to create. If I were to walk away, delete my Adobe suite, and wipe my portfolio, the only sense of relief I would feel is that I no longer have to worry about making “bad art” anymore. And while the idea of not having to worry about that definitely sounds enticing, it doesn’t feel good.
So am I going to give up?
So, what now?
In a recent episode of The Be Well podcast, Jeremy Utley, a professor at Stanford’s d.school, spoke about how waiting for the “right” idea to strike is typically what keeps us from creating anything in the first place. We are so afraid of failure that we won’t act until we know our idea will succeed. Or, in his words “It’s hard to identify what the action is, therefore, it’s easy to justify inaction.” Once I heard him say that, I rewound and listened to it a few more times. “Momentum is oxygen,” he went on to say. The more we create, the easier it is for us to create. And the more we create, the more likely it is we will stumble upon something we love, rather than waiting for it to slap us into action.
“Momentum” is a word that came up a lot in my final sessions working with my business coach. By the end of our 6 months together, I was truly convinced I would lose the momentum I had going at the time when I was creating more work than I had in years. We did everything we could to make sure this past month was a successful one from setting goals to time blocking when I would work on specific projects. Then I got sick for the second time in just a couple of weeks and rather than adjusting my schedule to accommodate for my time off, I instantly held off on doing anything at all. Even my side projects. My momentum had slowed down to a leisurely stroll.
So for now, I’m working on getting some momentum back and blocking out that voice that continues to doubt if what I’m doing is “the right thing.” Because even if I’m not creating the right thing, at least I’m creating something.
Here are a few thing I’ve been listening to and reading on this topic this past week:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2x0SdCbrd8DECGNJfswrKQ?si=1af0ef23ff734bc2
https://www.creativeboom.com/tips/how-creatives-can-stay-positive-during-darker-times/
https://www.instagram.com/thecreativeindependent/
Creative Confidence by Tom and David Kelley
Article thumbnail color palette by @heysarahtate https://www.instagram.com/p/C3k4tInR4nk/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link